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Tailor Made

The dark web has its own demands

Web design on the dark web differs from the web Google shows you. Down here, in Onionland, websites have that certain je ne sais quoi. They ooze the atmosphere of the internet in the 1990s, except with more drugs and porn. Here at Deep Design, we do our level best to replicate this feeling in all its glory.

The guys on the right look quite a bit like the guys that work for us: cooler than thou, basically. But we have to tell you that the picture is posed by models, because we'd be in deep shit if we'd ever be tracked down and stuff, and obviously the NSA has now got plenty of ways to track ppl with their facial recognition like, and we don't really mind if those lads on the right get into trouble because they don't work for us. If you see what we mean, like. But we do have Macs, because like everyone that is important has a Mac. That there is a Mac, right?






Websites to sell things

So you want to start a market

We have the rottenest looking market software, ideal for selling to stoners. And we can chop and change the thing until it looks just right to your eyes. We can throw in a forum that's got the brightest color-clash and the worst navigation. We can share your login details with the NSA right away, for a sizeable discount, or we can reveal them later, and that will cost you more. But they first have to track us down. Which is gonna be a little bit difficult, cos this is Tor yah. Except for when they finally get round to imaging the server this is on, but hey.

Websites to show things

So you have pictures you want to show off

We have the least user-friendly galleries you have ever dreamt of. And we can lock them up behind mean-looking paywalls. Or we can make it so they're in yer face, we don't care. We don't care how gross your images are, either. Except that the grosser, the more you pay us. So in a way, we kind of like grossness.

Whatever your specific needs on the dark web

We can supply a horrific-looking website to go with it. Here are some of our specialties:

Overlong CSS

You won't have a clue what that means. All you see is the stupidly long loading times.

Reliance on Javascript

When you know nobody is using it. And having the worst fall-back code.

Amazing Color Wheel

There is a color wheel that indicates when colors don't match. We use it a lot.

Unresponsive Design

All this responsive bollox, when everyone knows no fucker wants to mess on the deep web with itsy bitsy screens and teensy weensy keyboards.

Rude Staff

As you would expect from a dark service, our staff are absolutely fucking rude. We are easily inflamed by stupid questions.

Slow Response

Whatever goes wrong, or whatever you need, we're bound to ignore it for a while.

Have we convinced you already?

It really is an unbeatable proposition.

	   

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